the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
