saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
