I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I party with great urgency now.
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