he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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