Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
