their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
