Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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