then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
