He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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