is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
