did you get engaged???
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
