Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
