it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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