Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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