never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
