so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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