Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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