i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
