I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I understand Curling. That high.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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