That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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