that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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