If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
