This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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