Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
