singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
