Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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