so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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