My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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