Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
