I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
