my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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