Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
