jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
