I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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