Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
