finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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