We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I will be naked everywhere
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
