Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
