Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
