Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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