you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
