it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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