And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
