She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
