i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
