ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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