i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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