I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
