oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Do vagina's smell?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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