dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
